According to the Mayan calendar, the world is coming to an end this year. This probably isn’t the news you wanted to hear, but fear not — with the right planning and execution, you can survive the upcoming apocalypse. Below, you’ll find steps that lay out our own game-plan, in detail, so be sure to pay attention and you should be just fine on December 21, 2012!
Step 1: Purchase several cases of FAT bastard wine any time up to December 20th, 2012.
Step 2: Drink and enjoy FAT bastard wine until the end of the world.
And that’s pretty much it. I mean, were you expecting something else? It’s pretty much the best advice we can give, but don’t just take it from us — our fans on Twitter have been making noise in the glorious year of 2012, our last year on this Earth, and here’s what they had to say:
“@doodledodie: Dear Fat Bastard, it takes me less time to drink that bottle of wine than it did to open it.”
- This is good. Less time to open and enjoy equals more time to enjoy the world before it ends.
“@sophielou612: Fat Bastard Wine… Drink of Champions”
- Last time we checked, champions had a better chance of surviving an apocalypse than pretty much anyone else. Correct us if we’re wrong! (Champions only, please.)
“@IanBautista: Having a glass, or 5 of my new fave red wine, The Fat Bastard.”
- This guy might have the same surivival plan as we do…
“@blogaboutstuph: In honor of J.Lo’s dress, Steph and I are opening a ‘remarkably full-bodied wine.’ Thank you Fat Bastard. #oscars”
- You’re welcome. Since there probably won’t be much food after the world ends, why not drink a full-bodied wine instead?
“@krissyt67: Is it possible that drinking a glass of Fat Bastard while eating Girl Scout cookies is wrong? #thinmints #wine”
- No. It’s so unbelievably right. In fact, this might just be the combination that saves the world. We’ll keep you updated.
Follow us on Twitter @FATbastardWine for funny hippo-isms, more survival tips, and shoutouts to our followers. And remember, Live LARGE!!